Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Why I Should be Allowed to Own Grand Theft Auto V

My name is Daniel Webb and I am 13 years old, almost 14--that is, technically not old enough to play an M-rated game. I believe that I should be allowed to play the video game reviewers have called “funny, genuinely laugh out loud funny...the humour is told through situation, through incredibly clever writing and wonderful sense of place”, however. Sure, I’ll admit the game has RPGs, prostitutes, and liberally flings around the n-word...but that is NOT what I would use it for. Well, not the prostitute thing, anyway.
The first reason I think I should be allowed to play Grand Theft Auto V is that it is an open world game (OWG). OWGs basically let the player go anywhere and do anything (within a few small constraints), and the Grand Theft Auto series has proven time and time again to have the best OWGs of its generation, and the most recent incarnation is no exception. Aside from causing mayhem with a variety of inventive weapons, the game lets you play golf, do yoga, take a cable car into a mountain, play the stock market, change into a large number of different outfits, and even drive an experimental military aircraft.
Secondly, there is still no conclusive proof that playing violent video games leads to players doing violent things in real life.Several leading psychologists suggest that playing violent video games may help people get rid of their aggressive feelings in a safe environment. In addition, correlation is not causation. While there does seem to be some correlation between violent-game players and violent-people, it may be that those with inherently violent tendencies like playing violent games--and not that violent games CAUSE violent tendencies. Additionally, I think playing a violent video game may help me manage my anger by allowing me to pour my anger into, say, a police helicopter, and then shooting it with a rocket would explode and dissipate the anger, making me feel more calm and in control of myself.
Finally, while I confess to not being a very social person, every human does inherently crave companionship and the feeling of belonging. A lot of children my age I know, both within and outside of CCA, play violent games such as Call of Duty, Halo, and yes, Grand Theft Auto V. I do not want to go the whole hog on buying all the most inappropriate, violent video games out there, but I surmise that even one would not only allow me to socialize and meet other online players (although I would want nothing to do with those cyber-jerks) and to feel like one of the “in-crowd.”


While I understand that my mother’s inclination towards banishing all forms of violence from our household is well-intentioned and even loving, I believe that if she were to examine the evidence and to make an effort to understand my position, she might come to a different conclusion--in time. She might see that GTAV, as an open-world game, would be a tremendously enjoyable and imaginative way to spend my free time. She might also see that there is no strong evidence that violent video games are harmful, and she would support my desire to interact with my peers in a positive way.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Random essay generator generates random essay

Introduction

If a turn signal around a steam engine gives lectures on morality to the blithe spirit for an umbrella, then a warranty living with the hockey player feels nagging remorse. A defendant makes a truce with a tornado from a tabloid, and a single-handledly vaporized globule teaches a reactor related to a lover. A hardly purple power drill learns a hard lesson from the makeshift cashier, because a nuclear cough syrup non-chalantly satiates the cheese wheel around an oil filter. Sometimes a fruit cake of a pig pen laughs out loud, but a cowboy always caricatures a cheese wheel!

The hesitantly pathetic ski lodge

A smelly fairy avoids contact with a tattered demon. If a buzzard throws the cowboy at a particle accelerator defined by another minivan, then the food stamp sweeps the floor. When you see the financial anomaly, it means that a tripod panics. An abstraction of the buzzard is completely paternal.

The food stamp beyond the wedge

A diskette feels nagging remorse, and the magnificent cyprus mulch laughs out loud; however, a ball bearing tries to seduce a wedding dress living with some microscope. Most people believe that the tripod inside a freight train sells the graduated cylinder to the unstable cheese wheel, but they need to remember how lazily the psychotic photon dies. When a self-actualized crank case is non-chalantly foreign, a globule derives perverse satisfaction from another turn signal beyond a food stamp. Sometimes another sandwich for an apartment building takes a coffee break, but a food stamp always falls in love with a pork chop around a cab driver! Another steam engine is burly.

The moronic deficit

Indeed, a submarine for a warranty gives secret financial aid to some asteroid behind a chess board. If a crispy polar bear cooks cheese grits for the food stamp, then a jersey cow inside a satellite hesitates. The blood clot inside the tomato somewhat requires assistance from a burglar of the pig pen. Furthermore, a spider related to a cashier takes a coffee break, and the bartender about an industrial complex knowingly writes a love letter to some pit viper.

Conclusions

The wisely smelly polar bear beams with joy, or a proverbial corporation eats the tape recorder. A nearest tuba player is muddy. If a cashier living with a fire hydrant befriends a tripod of the chess board, then a satellite near a hockey player takes a coffee break. When a dust bunny of a briar patch prays, a submarine related to the photon hides. Now and then, a paper napkin borrows money from another razor blade from a dust bunny. 




This is what we've been missing our whole lives.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Grupheetie!

 What a heartwarming message!
 Okayyy.
 What? Trap Toad? Eh?
 Turn that cross upside down. Really now?
 MONKEYSLUT XD
 I like this yin-yang guy.


 Apparently, somebody fucks with jargon. But who am I to judge?
 No it doesn't.

Now you're getting it.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Scooter Odyssey #2

 Hey there, everyone! Today is Scooter Odyssey II and stuff happens!

 I snap a picture of a mysterious car.
 I find this, but when I do as it says, nothing actually happens.
 Later, I find a mermaid statue in the library. It's pretty deformed.
 Next, I take pictures of innocent bystanders! Yoy!





 MYSTERIOUS CAR










Saturday, July 20, 2013

I have returned!

Title says it all guise! I'm back from camp! More awesomeness to follow!


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Neglect and Ducks...

...they go hand in hand.

Aww, isn't it cute?

Anyway, I have not exaclty been doing anything on a regular schedule. I aim to change that. So, enjoy this picture I'm working on and I will keep you all posted XD.

Aren't they cute? Not as cute as the duck, but still...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

On Equestria Girls

Well.
Welly welly well.
I have learned a very valuable lesson today. The lesson is that I, and probably every brony in the whole damn world, should KEEP CALM AND TRUST THE WRITERS/DHX/HASBRO.

I just got back from watching Equestria Girls. It was...good. It wasn't a bad movie at all. In fact, it was great. It was a little cliche-y, but the catchy songs and direct brony refrences more than made up for that. It had truly evil villains and was totally funny. Everyone on the internet was worried for nothing. It's obvious the company loves and appreciates us. The special surprise at the end of the credits sealed it, but I won't reveal it. I'm just so, so very relieved. Coulda been worse.